Grief does funny things. It wrecks your world, destroys it completely and leaves you to make a new world out of the pieces. It tears out your heart and soul, replacing them with a tired and battle-scarred version of who you were. It kills you, and you reform like a phoenix. All because you have to.
Grief also joins you in love and friendship with others who have suffered great loss. It binds you to the other weary travelers on this journey not of your choosing. Although it can divide, it often draws you closer to the other loved ones in your life. Nothing replaces the person you lost, but others can help cushion the blow, as long as you let them. Again, because you have to.
Grief changes everything. You, as a grieving parent, have died too. You are not nor will you ever be the person you were before your child’s death. Even though it takes years to realize it, though, this new person can live the new life. Happiness is duller, and pain is sharper. However, as long as you are breathing you are surviving the worst you’ll ever face. On days when you feel too weak to carry on, keep that in mind.
You are the ultimate survivor. And you will remain so.
The heart stops briefly when someone dies, a quick pain as you hear the news, and someone passes from your outside life to inside. Slowly the heart adjusts to its new weight and slowly everything continues, sanely.
–American poet Ted Berrigan
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Comment by Digital Poet — May 24, 2011 @ 11:16 pm |